Mantra Madness

Chapter 4

a "No More Fakes" story

by Indiana Jones

Table of Contents


Still Day 2

It felt like I was going a thousand miles a minute and standing still at the same time. I closed my eyes as the universe started to bend. I feel to the floor not yet realizing I was on the other side of the portal. My new center of gravity combined with the unfamiliarity with the trip made me dizzy and almost nauseous.

I shook it off quickly and looked around. The lighting looked off but the place was still a wreck. I noticed that the portal hung in mid-air directly behind me. I could see the others waiting nervously. I motioned for them to come through and several, including Anita, passed through into the Raucous Chicken. I noticed an argument going on back at Area 51. I braced myself against the effects and stepped through once more.

"See! It is her, she's all right. Now get in there!" A Spiderman was telling a guy wearing a Manga-Type armor.

"Yeah it’s okay! You'll feel a bit disoriented then you'll be there and everything will be fine!"

"My girlfriend seems to think that this is all just another part of the conspiracy. She..."

I cut him off. It was my turn to be shocked. "Girlfriend? You mean he used to be a girl?"

"Yeah she wanted to come as switched genders. She wanted to go as the Guyver and she wanted me to go as Wonder Woman or one of those chicks from Bubblegum Crisis. I chickened out and bought Spidey here!" He explained.

"Well I've heard much more farfetched things. Now we don't know when or if those guys will be back. It’s safe enough and I would rather take my chances in there now let's go!" I said, grabbing the girl in the 'Guyver' unit and throwing her through.

Finally the last person came through. I stepped through again and this time it wasn't so bad. As I exited I thought about how the portal would be shut off, but as I turned around it slowly closed itself.

"Hey, Mantra! You are not gonna believe this!" Another Spiderman said.

"What now?" I said, rolling my eyes. What else could possibly go wrong?

"Well according to that clock on the wall, it is now eleven o'clock. In the morning."

My jaw fell. "You mean not only can that thing transport us through space, it can hurl us through time as well?"

"Looks that way!" Spidey said. I could swear he was smiling under that mask.

The implications were frightening. Was it something we did or did they plan it that way all along. They could go back and correct their mistakes in dealing with us if that were the case. I may have to figure a way to shut this thing down. But for now, I had the whole day to do over and I wanted to spend it with Kathleen.

We all stepped outside breaking the police tape that blocked the doorway. There were a few police cars around but they were mostly empty. One cop was snoring away loudly with a paper folded over his face and as everyone flew, jumped and scooted away I approached the car to read the headline. The entire cover sheet of the paper was dedicated to the events that had occurred at the Chicken and it confirmed the date. One prominent article about the Governor's son made me smile.

I looked around to see if anyone was left and I noticed Anita sitting on the curb looking forlorn. I went to comfort her when her husband stepped around the corner looking concerned. She didn't see him at first. He neighed as loud as he could and she turned to see what was going on. Her face lit up like a little kid's on Christmas morning. She jumped up and ran as fast as her new legs could carry her (which was pretty fast). As they embraced and kissed as best they could, I wondered what their kids would like. A centaur? Maybe an Anthropomorphic horse? Either way it warmed my heart and made me really glad that I had these powers.

"Ok you two, get a room!" I said smiling wryly.

"Thank you so much Mr. Jones. If there is anything you ever need..." He said almost in tears.

"Hey it’s okay. I was happy to do it. Now you guys should keep a low profile for a while. Bill Edwards and I want to help but until we do there may still be people looking for you. So when we get everything set up I want you to contact us." For some reason I wanted to cry I was so happy yet upset and the unknown that lay ahead of us.

"Bill Edwards? You mean the Wonder Woman guy on TV? You know him, erm, her?" He asked astonished.

"Yeah, We are going to help but there must be a million things we have to do before we can help! So just lay low until we get started.

I flew off as fast as I could really getting into the thrill of flying and feeling the wind and air against my new more sensuous skin. The feelings in this body were beginning to overwhelm me and I knew I needed to be normal for a while. I landed in a back alley and quickly transformed into my civvies.

I looked around the corner to see if the coast was clear and once I decided that no one had seen me land in the alley, I proceeded at a leisurely pace to my place. When I arrived, Terry was watching TV and laughing. He looked up at me as I came in. I felt a bit uncomfortable as I realized he was staring at my new assets.

"Sorry, I guess I forgot myself. Its just that I don't think I've ever seen a woman as good looking as you." He said with a pleasant smile. I looked at the closed bedroom door and knew that Kathleen must have been sleeping. Not that I blame her. It had been a rough night.

"Kathleen would kill you for hitting on me!" I said as I sighed and leaned back against the door.

"Yeah, well, what she doesn't know. Anyway, you came back awful fast. What happened?"

"Well, I need a drink and some ice cream!" I said heading for the small kitchen. "Oh and if I find out you were hitting on Kathleen while I was gone..." I warned as I pulled a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper out of the fridge and a box of Rocky Road out of the freezer.

Terry slid in behind me grabbing on to my waist and said, "You better watch the figure, that Rocky Road will live up to its name in your hips!"

I hadn't thought of that. My diet certainly couldn't consist of the foods I liked as a guy. I remembered how small the portions that Kathleen ate were and tried to adjust accordingly. Putting the coke back in the fridge while pulling out Terry's grip, I switched to a Diet Coke.

After dishing myself out a one scoop instead of two, I dropped a couple of huge scoops into a bigger bowl for Terry and sat down. He pulled out the DP and sat at the table with me.

"So you gonna tell me what went on?" he practically begged.

I explained the events of the day and how I had actually been transported back in time. I found that now even one scoop of rocky road made me feel like a balloon. On the other hand it tasted and smelled better than I ever thought possible.

"So are you sorry that this happened?" He asked soberly.

"I don't know. I may yet find a way back. Or I may not. What I do know is that it felt good to help those people." I said idly turning my Rocky Road into chunky soup. I took a swig of my drink and about puked. "Man! How do women drink that stuff?"

"You are going to have to get used to a lot of things!" Terry said swilling the DP directly from the bottle.

"Kathleen has a lot to get used to as well, and do you have to do that?" Terry shrugged his shoulders and made his best innocent child face. "I think that the machine gave me more time for a reason. Maybe it wants me to spend as much time as I can now, before things really get messy." I said then tried another sip of my drink. I think I was finally getting used to the flavor.

Terry and I talked for a while. We swapped ideas and jokes and reminisced a little. When Kathleen awoke from her nap, Terry felt like a fifth wheel and excused himself. He felt the tension in the air and decided that we needed to be alone.

Things were a bit awkward at first and we said little. I broke a little of the ice as I recounted my day to her and we lapsed into silence once more.

"So," I started trying to figure out what to say, "Were do we stand?"

"What do you mean?" She asked knowing what I meant but hoping that wasn't it.

"I mean our relationship. How do you feel?"

"I can't say for sure." She said looking away from me trying to keep from seeing what I had become. "It seems that you are the same wonderful man that I love. But you aren't the same. It's not like you only lost a limb or something."

I smiled and said, "But it is only a limb I've lost. My third leg! My one eyed warrior..."

"Stop it! Please be serious for a moment." She said looking me straight in the face.

"Okay. Look I love you and it does seem that this will be permanent. We have to face the facts. I love you and if you love me then this shouldn't matter."

"Yeah, but what if I had become a guy? How would you feel then?" She said.

I didn't know how to answer her. Here I was thinking that she could throw inhibition to the wind and still love me in that way. I knew she would always love me but I shouldn't expect her to just go against her nature and commit to that kind of relationship. I knew we would both need time.

I rose from my chair and walked over to her. I hugged her tightly. She struggled at first but I persisted and tried to make the embrace as sisterly as I could. We had a lot to sort through. She finally looked at me and I reached down and kissed her. She returned the kiss for a moment, then the phone rang. She broke away as I reached for the phone.

"Hello?" I said still looking after Kathleen who slowly made her way to the bedroom.

"Indy? It's me Ed!" I heard the voice on the other end say.

"Hey, what's up?" I said like a zombie.

"You okay?" She said waking me from my pondering.

"Yeah. Oh, yeah I'm fine just having problems."

"Tell me about it. We need to meet. How about at the McYuks on Main, in say, 10 minutes?"

I looked after the closed door and I knew that she needed time and so did I. I had a lot of thinking to do but not a lot of time to do it in. "Sure, in ten minutes! See you there!"

I went to the door of the bedroom and was about to knock when I heard muffled sobs. I could feel the tears welling up and something gripped my chest like a vice grip. I quickly jotted down a note as to where I was going and signed it with an 'I love you'. I quickly transformed into my costume and headed out. I cried all the way to our meeting.


I tried to compose myself as best I could and approached Ed. It wasn't hard to spot her even though she wasn't wearing her costume. How many amazons are running around town? Especially ones wearing tight jeans and a sweater that was two sizes to small, even though it looked two sizes too big.

Ed could tell I had been crying and asked about it. I just told her I had things to work out and I would be okay.

"Oh by the way could you call me Bill from now on? Sure I let you call me Ed sometimes but Cindy was a little confused as to why you were calling me that. It would just be easier if you called me Bill."

"Oh sure Billie!" I said trying to get a small chuckle past a sniffle.

Bill smiled back and said, "See you aren't as bad off as you thought!"

I chuckled again and told him all about the problems that Kathleen and I were having. He told me Cindy and he were much in the same position. "It must be the female hormones, nothing has ever made me cry like this before."

Bill looked at me understandingly and I managed to get myself under control.

"Maybe we ought to form a support group for the Gender Challenged?" I suggested.

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Remember the press conference last night? Well I've been thinking that maybe we could start an agency of some sort to help people."

"Well we're gonna need a lot of money to do something like that. Where are we gonna get that kind of capital?" I asked wanting to get into the spirit of things.

"Cindy and me have already found a building and she has some money. But I was hoping you could provide some more cash."

"I know computers pretty well, I can whip up some cheap but sturdy ones. Maybe I could find someway to get some discount supplies. What is the building like?"

"It needs some work, but I think between my muscle, your magic and Cindy's style we could whip into shape. What do you say?"

I thought for a moment. I'm only a college student, how am I gonna pay for this? Finally something dawned on me. "Okay, lets go see the building."

As we stood up Bill accidentally knocked a letter off the table. She picked it up and I noticed that it was embossed with the Playboy bunny logo.

"What is that?" I said smiling crookedly at Bill.

"It's an invitation to the Easter Bunny's Christmas party. What does it look like?" She snapped.

"How much are they offering?" I asked seriously noting that I shouldn't be making fun.

"A thousand." Bill said disgustedly.

I almost said 'there's some money'. But I wasn't comfortable with this new body yet so she couldn't be either. Whoa, I thought, did just think yet? I still hoped there was some way back.

We flew to the office building and looked it over. It looked like a wreck. But at least it was in good shape structurally. "So when do we get the broken down old ambulance, the nuclear backpacks and our own ghost?" I asked with a laugh.

Bill laughed too and said, "All kidding aside, this place is perfect. The wiring is good, the place is wired for Internet and there is a well-insulated bomb shelter in the cellar for Cindy. We may still need to reinforce it though. We just need to fix the place up a little."

We walked through the building and formed a rough list of what we would need. By the time we finished, the sun was already going down. We exited the building just as a cab pulled up with Cindy in it. We greeted each other and I told Bill it was a good idea but I needed to raise the funds first.

We shook hands and then Bill flew off with Cindy to get her back to the vault before the sunset completely.

I stood there alone contemplating my plans and basking in the glow of the slowly descending orb of light. When it was mostly dark I flew off back home to try and work things out with Kathleen.


[What follows is a prelude to what happened while I was at home trying to ease relations with Kathleen. I can only guess as to what really happened. I imagine it went something like this.]

 

"What in heavens name just happened Gentlemen? I thought you bunch of pansies were the best of the best?" A cigar-chomping stereotype of a General shouted.

He got no response from the dozen men, and one blonde woman, dressed in black combat fatigues. They stood fully erect and as smart as a bunch of grunts could possibly look. "Well tomorrow you will get the chance to find out. You will all be briefed on your latest mission at 07:00 hours." He pulled the cigar from his mouth and bit off the end. He spit it out onto the boots of the blonde woman. The General felt somehow that most of what happened was due to her negligence.

"However ladies," He said pacing back and forth in front of them, "Until 3:00 hours you will be training you collective delicate little tushies off. Give your hearts to your country and your souls to God, 'cause your asses are mine! Now move out!"

The man at the right end of the line called out the orders and the troops faced right then marched out of the staging area. As they walked out the General blew out a puff of foul smelling smoke and looked evil as his stained yellow teeth formed a predators grin. "Nobody makes a fool out of General Roy Gaines, especially some sassy little witch!" He put the cigar back in his mouth and marched out to 'train' his soldiers to within an inch of their lives.


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